All Alone

Do you know? I'm totally afraid... I don't get to know what is the correct way. For so many time I just want you to back by my side, but what if the truth is if all this time I have been falling in love with the memory I have about you and not to the really you. I'm so confused, I'm so hurt.
I thought I truly want to be by your side, but what if this wish become so painful, I mean I could be ok with that, but all the magic that involve my memories with you can just get destroyed so how can I get to live anymore? Maybe this is the way that it should be...
The only truth is that I don't know anymore if I want to fight for you... I don't want to return to the past just want to always be the same...

Maybe you don't want me again, but it could be easier if you tell  me this face to face... Is so painful how I just can't get at least a negative response from you...